3: Psycho (Warning: Emo Entry)

Is it normal to think the way I do? Is it normal to want revenge as bad as I do? Thoughts of suicide come up often these days, but I know I could never go through with it. I can't help but think about it, I'm not afraid of death, I'd embrace it with open arms. How crazy does that sound? A suicidal who won't do it. There are plenty of things I can do to replace suicide, like cut, or I could stop eating. If only it were that easy. I used to cut, I still have the scars, but it doesn't do anything for me like it used to, it won't take away my mental or emotional pain.

I know, I sound like a freaking emo-kid, but I need to let out my emotions somehow, if I don't I might do something bad...I've thought about murder as well, but yet again, I wouldn't be able to go through with it. I guess my emotions take over much too easily, either I want to kill myself, or someone else, neither would sound good to a school counselor, which my friend Alexis said I should talk to. The reason why I don't want to is because I'm afraid that if I do, they'd send me to a therapist...and I don't want to get involved in that crap.

All I want and need is someone to love me, need me, and want me, but I'm afraid that I lost the only person who did for good..