16: Bleh

Well, Melody apparently never broke up with him, he still loves her, and I'm a broken-hearted little girl. I asked him, he knows that I like him, and he doesn't care. He says that I'm an amazing girl and I have the best personality, but he doesn't feel that way about me. <- Exactly what all the other boys say, and not what I really wanted to hear. Az and Jessie's theory is the only reason he doesn't like me like that is because he's dating Melody, but is that the truth? I'd like to believe so, but all the other guys who've said that weren't dating anyone, so they definately didn't want to date me. Am I that undatable? Sure, I'm weird, I get emotional and overthink things, but I feel like I'm undesirable...
I'm going to homecoming anyway though. I have no idea why, there's so many reasons why I don't want to, and not really a particular reason that I do. Am I weird?

15: J'aimerais Tellement ~ Jena Lee

It's been a while, and a helluva lot has happened since my last entry.
Long story short, Jonah finally saw Melody for the bitch that she was and avoided her. I got excited and hoped he would talk to me more. Next day, he's dating her, apparently not caring that he was her second choice. I was broken-hearted. Now a couple days ago, Melody breaks up with him because he tried getting Anthony is trouble(I really don't know what happened there), and now he's single again, probably broken-hearted over Melody. I want to give him time, but Homecoming is this coming weekend, and I would really like to ask him to go with me. I don't want to push myself on him, but Jenna wants me to go, and I want to have another reason for me to get in a dress and go. I'm going to try later, on Facebook, when he's online. I feel bad for asking so soon after, but it's homecoming, and I know that he wants to go. Hopefully he hasn't accepted any of the other invites...

14: Ghoulstock

Okay, so..Melody hasn't actually been to class all week, she's been claiming that she's sick, but I don't buy that crap. Does she think that everyone is stupid? She's always on facebook, always updating, saying that she's hanging out with Anthony, I think we all know what's going on there. Jonah is still saying how much he misses her, and that he's sorry for every time he's doubted her. But it hurts, I know what's going on, she's been fighting to keep Anthony all summer, and now that Jenna broke up with him, he's free, why would she give up now? I wish I could tell him, but I just don't have the guts to, what if he doesn't believe me? What if he won't stop believing all the crap Melody's feeding him? I just don't want to see him getting hurt by all this, but I'm afraid that there's nothing I can do.
On a better note, Jonah invited me to a show his band is playing at, it's a Halloween Costume Party. It sounds totally wicked, I'd gladly go, but it means canceling my plans with the people I used to call my friends. They haven't spoken to me for a long time, so why should I even go? I've always wanted to hear Jonah play on something other than the art room acoustic, why pass it up? Is it just me, or is there something behind the invitation?

13: Weekend!

The first week of school is over, I was so happy to be able to sleep in this morning, and I have one more morning to sleep in. Yay~
Jessie and I bought a new flat iron last night, and now I can finally straighten my hair without having to wait over an hour for the dang thing to heat up. My hair looks fabulous too, the new one works so much better than that piece of crap I used to use.
I should probably be doing my homework right now, so that I won't be rushing to do it tomorrow, but I'm too lazy to do it. I know, it's bad, and my parents keep telling me procrastination is not the way, but I can't help it! It's who I am! (which by the way I have to write a paper about xD) I might do my reading tonight, and my paper tomorrow, it shouldn't take me too long.
Well, on my second day to school, I found out that Jonah sits in the art room at lunch, which coincidentally, is where I decided to eat. But to my deep despair, Melody is there with him. Yesterday, I viewed the most horrific thing. He was playing the art teacher's guitar, and was singing to her. It nearly broke my heart, the only thing that gives me hope is the fact that he's still listed as single on Facebook. I hope he realizes her little scheme soon, or he just might end up being broken.

12: First Day

It wasn't a full day, but it was still my first day of Senior Year. I didn't have to go to classes till about noon, which meant different bus schedule, and thanks to the school system, I had no idea when it was. So, Karen gave me a ride, since she has her own car, and a school parking pass. It was awkward, but we made conversation. I didn't see Jonah today, he was around from what I heard, but I just couldn't find him. I wanted to at least say hi, and be on my way, but it kinda hurt not seeing him, even if I really didn't want to. Apparently the girl he likes, Melody, is supposed to be in two of my classes, but she didn't show up. I hope Jenna was right when she said that she's going to Germany, I don't want to see that bitch's face. She's horrible, I don't know why Jonah likes her, she's just a slut, looking for some boy toy to make Jenna's boyfriend jealous. I don't want Jonah getting hurt, he's already been hurt by his ex, I want to see him smile again. I must sound like some girl that overthinks things, and I only worry about him because I like him, but I just want him to be happy, and he's not going to be happy with Melody, she'll only hurt him. If only he knew...
My classes are alright, I'm psyched for all of them except Pre-Calc, I hate math! But I have Psychology, Contemporary Novel, Advanced Art, and Sociology. All seem totally cool, and I can't wait for tomorrow to come. The only bad thing about today was the fact that halfway through, I got a killer headache, and I didn't have any pills to supress it. I also didn't want to ask for any pills, because teachers suddenly come to conclusions, thinking it's a drug dealing. I hate dealing with all that crap, so I had to deal with a throbbing headache for two and a half hours. And after school Rose and I went to Barnes and Noble, and hung out at the cafe, her and her iced tea, me and my hot tea. We looked at Halloween magazines, and we really want to hang out some time around Halloween to make crafts, and go through a haunted maze or something, because on Halloween we have different plans. I totally miss hanging out with Rose, I can tell her all sorts of stuff, but still, not everything. I wish I had someone I can tell everything to, without being judged, or being told I'm wrong, I want someone who'll support me, no matter what I decide to do.

11: Rest in Pieces

I suddenly don't want to go to school. I just don't think I can handle seeing him after this long. He doesn't know how much I love him, and he probably never will. He's too focused on the worst girl ever, and he won't even see me. It's like I don't even exist, he hasn't spoken to me all summer, he's only left brief comments on Facebook, and to me, it's nothing. I want to just be his friend, but this tug in my heart won't let me. How can I go to school and see him? I don't want to risk breaking down and crying, but I have to go. Why does it have to be so difficult?

10: Stolen m&m's

School starts on Tuesday, and honestly, I can't wait.
For one, I'm bored as hell and I need something to occupy my time. I even went to a high school football game last night, and I hate football. I have to admit though, I had fun. I hung out with Jenna and Hannah, her exchange student. We sat next to the band, so we could never hear the cheerleaders(good for me), and we had popcorn, Mountain Dew, hot chocolate, and a bag of stolen m&m's(we didn't steal it, Jenna's cousin did, we just stole them from her).
Secondly, I want to see my friends again. Most of which I haven't seen since school let out, and I miss them, especially Jonah. Damn do I miss that boy...stupid crushes. It'll probably never happen, I can only dream. -sigh-
Thirdly, I have friggin' sweet classes this year, and I have at least one friend in a class every trimester, SCORE! I can't wait to meet the teachers and just have a great time with my senior year.
The only downside is college applications, and the pressure to be at school everyday, and not fail a single class. >.<