Is it normal to think the way I do? Is it normal to want revenge as bad as I do? Thoughts of suicide come up often these days, but I know I could never go through with it. I can't help but think about it, I'm not afraid of death, I'd embrace it with open arms. How crazy does that sound? A suicidal who won't do it. There are plenty of things I can do to replace suicide, like cut, or I could stop eating. If only it were that easy. I used to cut, I still have the scars, but it doesn't do anything for me like it used to, it won't take away my mental or emotional pain.
I know, I sound like a freaking emo-kid, but I need to let out my emotions somehow, if I don't I might do something bad...I've thought about murder as well, but yet again, I wouldn't be able to go through with it. I guess my emotions take over much too easily, either I want to kill myself, or someone else, neither would sound good to a school counselor, which my friend Alexis said I should talk to. The reason why I don't want to is because I'm afraid that if I do, they'd send me to a therapist...and I don't want to get involved in that crap.
All I want and need is someone to love me, need me, and want me, but I'm afraid that I lost the only person who did for good..
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Thing you got to remember, Grae. Is that you have people like me that love you. And I love you with a heart that can hardly fit in my body. If you need someone to talk to, I'm always here and your sister knows my number by heart. I've been through what you've been through, love. After all my ER visits I wished I would just die right there. But I found myself praying for strength, and for God to open my eyes. To open my eyes to love around me.
ReplyDeleteI love you and can't wait to see you in your Marmon costume :P
~Azalea
You need some skittles my dear. =D love yooh!
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